Tuesday, March 16, 2010

So I guess I musta slept late or forgot the alarm or hit the snooze too many times or somethin cause when I wake up this mornin I'm in the future. The future's a lot like the present only it's older and more used up. The streets are dusty and the the cars are pre-crashed and the ground's retired and the sky's closed for repairs so most people just stay inside and break things at home. I go out to get some breakfast but when I get there I'm already there. "Pleased to meet you, future me," says me. "I know, I remember," says future me. "Future Giblets wants waffles," says future Giblets but all the waffles have already been eaten by those bastards in the past.

There's not much to do so we head out to the movies. It's a remake of a sequel of a spinoff of a show about a show about the time we saw this show. "Looks pretty good," says me. "Ehh, I seen it before," says future me. "Future Giblets wants jujyfruits," says future Giblets. We head out to the lobby to get some snacks but by the time we get there we've already had em.

We spend most a the afternoon diggin around in the backyard for scraps. I find half a Saturday morning and an old arrowhead an part of a used July but the guy at the scrapyard says he can only give us six-fifty for em on accounta they're all covered with people. We figure we'll get some ice cream on the way home but the ice cream's all melted and the truck's broken down and the ice cream man's been eaten by thousands of tiny mice so we settle for some popsicles instead.

The next day we take a bus to the past. They're closed when we get there so we end up campin out in fronta the ticket booth with some woolly mammoths and a dodo. "Future Giblets wants an omelette," says future Giblets. "Waawk," says the dodo.

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posted by fafnir at 8:56 AM




21 Comments:
the future sounds gross. i hope i never have to go there.
haha. it depends. you can't say that.
That sounds exactly like what a dodo would say. Good work! I am not being sarcastic.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 16, 2010 10:09 AM
The ground's retired in the future? Guys, what happened to the plan? I thought we were gonna get it into one of those annuities, and we already did that thing with its mortgage! Don't tell me it's living on Social Security, because you know how we took care of that. The ground was gonna work 'till doomsday and we were gonna be in Cancun! What happened?!
by Anonymous Bernie, at March 16, 2010 11:34 AM
Did Giblets see Dick Cheney?
by Anonymous locust, at March 16, 2010 12:52 PM
I often feel like a time traveller from the twentieth century, myself.

Way back then, the Firesign Theatre said, prophetically,

THIS is the future. You got to LIVE it, or live WITH it.

Or, I would add now - get out of the way.
Eh, let's face it: I kind of suck now. The world changed, but my diapers didn't. I used to be biting and satirical. Now I'm just screechy and dull.

Meanwhile, Aunt Mable lies in a ditch next to county road 6...
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 16, 2010 3:47 PM
I keep meaning to visit the present but I keep missing my chance.
by Anonymous tarjj, at March 16, 2010 9:33 PM
I hate it when that happens, Faf; and I tell the people about it and they say; "You need to adjust your meds, Miep; or how about start taking meds in the first place;" and I say "No, no, no! they need to adjust the Future, it's so obvious."

And they don't listen, they never listen. Just get all slithy on me. "Oh, you are teh Crazy, Miep! What is this foolishness about lost forage and misplaced tardigrades?"

Snickersnack, I sez to that.
The future's not what it used to be, I think the Lanciliers got to it a bit early.
Just found out you were back. Man, I missed Fafblog. Thanks.
Man how much fun would it be if you could meet future you? I bet you future me would want waffles too ;)
I miss Fluble. ,_,

Okay, maybe I don't really, but I'm glad to see even if Fluble is dead his creator is not.
Keep missing your chance? How it could be?
what about all the corpses of the dead brown people? are they in the future, too?

and how many waffles does a dead person from some run-down, nowhere village hanging on a mountainside need, anyway?

maybe thats why we're killing them now: so we dont have to do it in the future and can spend all of our time crawling around on the rug making surfle, snurfle sounds.
I GOT STONED & MISSED IT


I was sitting in my basement.
I just rolled myself a taste
Of something green and gold and glorious
To get me through the day.
Then my friend yelled through the transom
"Grab your coat and get your hat son,
There's a nut down on the corner,
Givin' dollar bills away"
But I laid around a bit
Then I had another hit.
Then I rolled myself a bomber.
Then I thought about my mama.
Then I fooled around, played around
jacked around a while and then
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and it rolled right by.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned... oh me... oh my.


It took seven months of urgin'
Just to get that local virgin
With the sweet face
Up to my place
To fool around a bit.
Next day she woke up rosy,
And she snuggled up so cozy.
When she asked me how I liked it,
Lord it hurts me to admit,
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and it rolled right by.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned... oh me... oh my.
I'm makin' no excuses


For the many things I uses
Just to sweeten up my relationships
And brighten up my day.
When my earthly race is over
And I'm ready for the clover
And they ask me how my life has been
I guess I'll have to say,
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and it rolled right by.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned and I missed it.
I got stoned... oh me... oh my.

Words & Music by
Shel Silverstein and George Cummings
"I have seen the future, and it is much like the present, only longer" - Dan Quisenberry
"The streets are dusty and the the cars are pre-crashed and the ground's retired and the sky's closed for repairs so most people just stay inside and break things at home."

Which Tom Waits song did you quote that from?
by Anonymous Anonymous, at April 07, 2010 12:20 PM
Inspiring article..Keep it up..have a great day!
We don't know yet our future. It may be good or bad as long as we'll keep our present good our future will turn out that way as well.
Not really a kind of dream I wanna have. But it seems like the future is telling you something. Like if you don't wanna good with your present then you there's nothing good you'll get in the future. But who know, right?

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